It gave me an advantage over my peers

Erik talks about his relationship with a man, which started when he was 13 years old.

Taken from the collection Positive Memories, compiled by T. Rivas.

Source: This Dutch case, mentioned on the Martijn website, is taken from the article Hij heeft me veel meegegeven… in the journal of a Dutch movement for sexual reform from the late 1980s (Elf en dertigst, nr. 6 (“Het Kind Centraal”) published by Nederlandse Vereniging voor Seksuele Hervorming - Werkgroep Pedofilie Nijmegen.)

As Erik (now 19) got to know his friend Ruud, he was 13 and Ruud was 31.

“My friend Paul had told me you could jerk off at Ruud’s place. Ruud also had magazines and movies. The first time I visited his place, it happened almost immediately. I just pulled down my pants and took my thing out. I already knew it was going to happen. Ruud showed some interest in me when he saw me. We understood each other somehow.”

“After a while I visited him about once a week. Of course we also made out. We gave each other blow jobs and even had intercourse. It always happened very spontaneously. We didn’t plan anything.”

“It was not only a sexual relationship. It was a lot more than that. Of course we also shared a lot of other activities. Like painting and sailing.

Ruud also told me a lot. And he showed me that there is a lot more to life than just the traditional nuclear family. He was independent and free. It had something to do with positive tension and adventure. That attracted me. But it was very secure as well. I knew beforehand that he was never going to hurt me. I could trust him 100%. He was like a father or a friend to me. "

“Looking back on it - by the way, I keep seeing Ruud regularly - it made me a lot more self-aware. He has given me a lot. I think it gave me an advantage over my peers. I’ve been lucky, yes!”