Full with desire and love

A boy describes in poetic words his desire, his discovery of pleasure and his love for a man.

Source: Boulin, B. et al, La Charte des enfants. Paris: Stock, 1977, p. 40-41

In a letter to the Parisian “service for Children in Crisis”, a boy wrote…I’m fourteen. My parents are rather nice to me, but even so they’re making my life awfully difficult. I’m in love with a young man of 22. we have to meet secretly. Our love is intense and enduring. It has overcome all moral, social and family objections. And I can tell you that I most definitely was not seduced by my lover. The seducer was really me." He had met his friend in a holiday camp.

“One night I found I couldn’t take my eyes off him… I felt a strong urge to seduce him. He seemed so distant, in his adult world, with his authority. (…) But I didn’t hesitate. You can’t imagine how full I was with desire and love. Thinking back on it even now I start to shiver. Then one night we went for a walk-it was the first time he really saw me. We discovered each other, we swept each other along in the joy of our lust. And that’s how I learned that there was such a thing as lust. My boyhood is going to last such a short time, and I want to enjoy it as fully as I can, but people make this impossible. Yet, when I think of all those things which happen in boarding schools, in holiday camps-all those people who do secretly and yet are the first to act indignant and denounce others. The bastards! Or pathetic victims. I feel completely normal myself,and I find girls and boys equally nice to look at. Beauty and love are everywhere, but I have to be secretive, when I’d like to shout to the whole world and tell everyone what’s so beautiful to me.”